Anthology by Harvey Specter
by Merriwickedly
Summary: Harvey Specter reminisces key moments in which he's realized the level of respect, admiration and deep love he feels for Donna Paulsen.
1. Chapter 1- Whiskey Oaths

Hi again! Sorry to have been gone but life took over. I've gained and lost so much in the past few months... However, I'm glad to be here again with all of you. Now, about this new fic, these are short, mini-chapters, told pretty much in random thought style from Harvey's POV. Please let me know what you think :) Sending all my love to each and every one of you- Bellesrad

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They've done this so many times over the years. The music coming from the record player drifting through the air, the bottle of whiskey and two tumblers their sole companions. Like whiskey night oaths, discussing this and that, talking about everything and nothing. Cases, court proceedings, Louis' latest shenanigans, his dates, her dates. Their voices and laughter lost in the empty hallways of whatever the hell the Firm's name is this year, this month, this night…

Tonight, like he does every time, he observes her every move through the distortion created by the bottom of his whiskey glass as he takes a sip. She's all beautiful red waves and curves for miles. She's telling him about Norma's recent argument with Louis and she's laughing. Her smile makes his heart hitch, white teeth accompanied by full, red, fleshy lips. And he still remembers how these had tasted and how soft they'd felt against his own that night long ago. Sweet, deliciously decadent. That's how he'd describe her mouth.

He nods, although he has no idea what she's just said. Distracted by the low cleavage of her expensively tailored dress. He blames the whiskey for making his eyes a little reckless, thus allowing him to settle for longer than a second on her feminine figure. If she's aware of it, she doesn't let it show. He takes another sip of his drink and closes his eyes to stop himself from staring for too long.

This is Donna and she has rules.

Strict rules.

And she means too much to him.

She's part of him.

He would never break her rules.

Never.

Unless…No.

She would never backtrack on it.

But he allows himself to dream,

one more time,

one more night,

that she does...


	2. Chapter 2- Holding without touch

She looks at him across the room and their eyes meet. Her hazel ones are serious, with sculpted eyebrows in a little less than a frown. Her head slightly tilted to her left in that way he knows is trying to tell him that whatever this is, it makes sense. This is her telling him, "Agree with this because it's the right choice, Harvey".

He dips his hands in his pant pockets and raises his left eyebrow at her "Are you sure?" his body language conveys and she offers him a concealed nod. And he trusts her. Her intelligence and savvy perception has never failed him. He then notices that her hands hold a whiskey tumbler, and he knows that she's ready to hand it over to him as soon as he voices his agreement to the group. Ever since that night, when Jessica announced her retirement, their bond strengthened. What's his is hers and hers is his. It had been sealed as he'd handed her his own drink after the three name partners had drank to Pearson Specter Litt… His. Hers. Theirs.

She hands him the drink as they meet halfway, surrounded by the others. The group distracted and excitedly talking about what they would do next. His fingers touch hers as their eyes meet, and her eyes flutter for a moment while a faint smile draws on her lips. She's so soft and feminine and so shy at times, like now… and he loves that about her. He smiles back as he brings the tumbler to his mouth and watches her turn around to talk to Rachel. Mike and Louis talk at the same time trying to get his attention and he looks at them for a minute. But his eyes soon go back to searching for hers. Once he finds them, hers are still set on him. Brown on hazel meet again, and he realizes something important. He realizes that they've always held each other even without touch.


	3. Chapter 3- Always there for him

She's taught him a few things across the years. To show empathy to others, well more like towards Mike. Also, that being patient and understanding will help him foster friendships, like he's done with Louis. And that offering kindness and compassion makes him a better human being... Well, he still has yet to learn. This is what today and tomorrow are about but he's not ready.

Donna's been alongside even when those that had promised to stay have left. She's been fiercely loyal, brutally honest, sweet and caring when he needs it. Even when he's tried to trick himself into believing something to protect his mind, his heart, she hasn't allowed it.

That's why he's sitting here, very close to his penthouse door. Sitting on the ledge against the large paneled window, hands drawn almost in prayer. For he's certain that she'll show up soon enough. Ray is downstairs waiting. His bags are packed and ready, yet he couldn't find the strength within to get them and go. He sighs and holds his head on his hands as he waits.

She knows him better than he knows himself, so when he hears her characteristic knock he gets up and sighs. He has to put on an act and pretend to be both surprised and annoyed at seeing her at his door. But the truth is, he's relieved to know she's here. Mainly because if he has to admit to himself, he needs her here with him.

The look on her face says it all and he drops his head as she walks in ahead of him. He knows what's coming and he might not want to but it's essential he hears it. She's the only woman he's ever allowed to talk to him this way. Not even Jessica, his former mentor, has that right.

For Harvey Specter, it's always been her and only her. His voice of reason, a moral compass of sorts, questioning and helping him navigate the course of his decisions. His angel disguised in expensive high heels and couture dresses. Fiery red hair and clear, melodic voice that entice his soul and mind. And he allows himself to listen to her, and be convinced of why he must make peace with his mother for once and all.


	4. Chapter 4- Gravity

There's always something that brings him back to her. It's a silent magnetic pull that _he_ doesn't quite understand. That _they _don't quite understand. Time and time again, this attraction reels them in and brings them to their knees…

He's tried to keep himself away from her that way. Too scared to lose her, not wanting to break her rules. Other women have come and gone, some for short and some for longer periods of time to no avail. None of them are her. They're simply not her at all...

Dreams of her burn through his nights. Images of flaming red hair, soft porcelain skin, strawberry-flavored tongue and passionate plump lips. His fingers and mouth still remember every curve of her body, his tongue recalls every last inch of passionate flesh, while his hands hold the memory of the fullness and weight of those perky round orbs, which seemed to perfectly fit in each of them.

In his waking hours he lets the practical side take over. And he knows that their relationship has always been a partnership of sorts. A special something that's transformed into a special dynamic that combines all that makes them: loyalty, companionship, and telling each other the hard truths no matter what. A silent faith of sorts. Her full faith in him and his faith in her.

That's why as he stands before her ripping her resignation letter, watching the surprised look in her hazel eyes, eyebrows shooting up to her hairline, the small gasp escaping her lips… This moment, means everything to him. For tonight she will get a chance to realize what he figured the minute he'd walked into her empty office.

Donna Paulsen _was much more_ than his secretary.

"_Will you come back?"_

Donna Paulsen i_s so much more_ than his COO.

"_Yes"_

She's Donna, simple and natural like that...

And he will always go back to her.


	5. Chapter 5- This thing they share

Time always seems to stop when they're together. He loves the way her hand skims over his leg as they converse. Her eyes bright, her smile wide, her voice, a buttery soft whisper that's music to his ears. And then there's that hand which lingers over his leg, and he's not sure if she's aware of what it does to him.

He allows his hand to touch the soft skin that is exposed in that intricately attractive dress she wears tonight. He enjoys the soft blush that tints her cheeks and it only wills him to continue with this game of touch. Harvey finds that with every stroke, in that delicate back and forth caress his fingers make, seems to make her trip over her words and her breath hitch for a millisecond. Her hazel eyes flutter nervously and the dark pupils become larger in that same span of time. It makes him realize that she's most likely as turned on as he happens to be. And he wishes all the people in this restaurant would disappear so he could enjoy touching and kissing her without constraints of any sort.

His eyes catch the soft freckles that decorate her chest. Each one of them seem to playfully claim his attention. He's had fantasies all day, about undoing that satiny strand trapped in the buckle at her neck, and watching the soft fabric of her dress ripple wide open to allow him to see more… a lot more of her. And his mouth waters at the thought of kissing, nipping and licking each one of her formidable breasts. He swallows back at the thought of feeling each hard, dusty pink nipple against the flat of his tongue...

His eyes land back on her face and his eye crinkle in amusement.

"_What?" _he feigns innocence but the Cheshire cat smile gives him away.

Her raised brow and knowing glint in her eyes answer his question. And she finds his hand, her fingers swiftly interlacing his while her thumb strokes his knuckles.

Yes, she knows him well.

Bringing her hand up, he kisses it without ever losing contact with her eyes, and she smiles sweetly at him. Her head slanting sideways, her eyes are doing that thing he loves, as though silently telling him how much she loves him, how much she wants him.

Oh yeah, he also knows her well.

Must be because of this thing they share…


	6. Chapter 6- Saving grace

He's sitting down in his favorite leather chair in the living room. He chose a more mellow record this time, melodies to go along with his thoughts and the whiskey he now holds in his hand. He's been in an introspective mood and he hopes both the expensive alcohol, and the music can help settle his thoughts.

Harvey's eyes water as the memories unfold like those fimstrips he used to watch in his art history classes in high school. Some come swiftly, in vivid colors while others are more distant and blurred, almost sepia-toned. He still can't believe both of them are gone and he hates the feeling that seems to rip through his chest every time this realization hits him. It starts like a small pain that slowly, but surely, radiates throughout his body and almost seems to paralyze him for a second or so. His jaw tenses and eyes close, trying to shut it out, and his grip on the glass tumblr increases to the point he fears the laser cut engraving on it will leave an indentation on his palm.

Soft and warm arms surround him from behind and he feels her scent envelop him in that pleasant familiarity. The pain slowly begins to fade away and his lungs suddenly remember how to breathe again. Her love and affection breaking through the cold, dark mood that had taken over his mind and body. She's the one force that always seems to awaken him from the sullen, gloomy corners of his mind, and fills him up with light. Her love reaching into every crevice of his cold body, expunging the negative emotions and bringing a sense of calm and clarity back to his soul.

He finally finds his voice and the words come out in a hoarse whisper.

"I miss them... every day…"

He feels a sigh leave her mouth as her arms gently tighten their hold around him, and he patiently waits for her wise words to come.

"I know you do, Harvey… So do I…. But we also know that they live forever in our hearts…And I'm grateful that they helped shape and mold the man you are… You're a good man, Harvey. You were a good son to them, and they both loved you for it and much more… Don't you forget that..."

Harvey takes one of her hands, guiding her into disentangling from her embrace, and come around the leather chair to stand before him. And with the same ease brings her forward as she easily reads his request and straddles him. Strong, large masculine hands landing on her waist as her own delicate arms circle around his neck. Hazel and brown meet, his anguish dissolving as they take in the love and strength he sees in hers. She brings one of her hands to cup his face and traces his jawline with her thumb. He closes his eyes as he leans against her touch and sighs. And she knows he's made peace with his thoughts. She then touches her lips to his in a soft, tender kiss and watches as his eyes flutter open to look again into her own. His thumbs start tracing slow circles against the fabric of her short, black dress.

"What did I do to deserve you, Donna?"

She smiles back at him and holds him in a deep hug. Her head leaning against his shoulder, her soft breath tickling his neck as a contented sigh leaves her mouth before she replies,

"I love you, Harvey… I told you once, you're the real thing..._We're the real thing_. That's enough reason for us to be here, together. It's never been about "deserving each other"... We simply _are…_Because we _belong_ together._.."_

His arms come around and clasp around her lower back as they continue to hold each other close. Their breathing syncing into a rhythm similar to the beat of their hearts. Steady. Serene. Soothing. Just like her. She's the only one that grounds him. And he knows, now and forever, that she's everything he needs and wants.

His voice comes soft and raspy as he turns his head to look into her beautiful hazel eyes.

"You're _my_ real thing... I'd be nothing without you… You're my saving grace… I love you, Donna."

She offers him a shy smile, her eyes going to his lips and he fulfills her wish. His lips take hers in a slow, heart-felt kiss. And he hopes she can feel the love and devotion in it. Because that's exactly what he feels for this wonderful woman. This amazing woman that has graced him with accepting to be by his side through the light and the dark, and all the hues, of this thing called life.


	7. Chapter 7- Your man

_Hi again! I just wanted to drop a couple of short updates tonight. I'm so very grateful to you all for accepting this very humble work written by yours truly. Looking forward to hearing what you think of these! XX- Bellesrad_

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Watching her leave with Stephen Huntley always brought him to his knees. It gutted him to know she was with someone else so he drowned himself in work and whiskey. He'd spent so many nights sitting at the leather sofas she had chosen for his office, a tumbler in hand, a frown on his face, his dark mood coming out in the depths of the night.

Even Mike had realized that he should just leave the senior partner alone during those times. Harvey's anger easily surfacing and nixing any chance of them moving forward with any real work. His temper flaring up easily almost in crescendo as the weeks flew by and the couple's relationship seemed to intensify. Maybe that's why it came as no surprise to either Jessica or himself, to see his response that night…

He flinches as she presses the gauze filled with hydrogen peroxide against his lower lip. Goddamn, it hurts! He thinks but then again revels on the feel of her touch, and finally having her full and undivided attention. This Superman cape he wears imprinted on his back, and the stoic, yet benevolent Batman disposition he carries in his chest, always at the ready to come to her rescue.

He hadn't lied when he'd confessed to her that it bothered him to see her with Stephen. Yet, he couldn't access the reasons behind those feelings, and be openly honest about it. He just knows that memories of the other time still dance before his eyes, in his dreams. And his body still reacts with the same intensity to her smile, her sweet smell and her touch, no matter how casual it may be.

Training himself to avoid such visceral response to her mere presence has taken years and years of practice. So fearful his emotions become transparent before her: Donna Paulsen, clairvoyant extraordinaire, who can read anyone like the palm of her hand and is cognizant of things no one else can see. So he would oftentimes take the cowardly way and shut her out.

But not tonight among Jessica and Mike. For this one time, he didn't care. Didn't care if the vehemence of his desire and emotions for the beautiful redhead became evident to his mentor and protegé.

Donna came first.

She always came first.

She would always come first.

Because like that one magical night, hidden by the layers of time, yet so vividly inscribed in his heart... Harvey Reginald Specter still feels like her man.


	8. Chapter 8- Magic

That sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach slowly disappears, and the mild pressure that had built as a helmet at the back of his head seems to fade away. Long gone is the distaste the whiskey had left in his mouth after hearing the news coming from Mike. His leaden feet, which had grounded him against his will momentarily, becoming swift and graceful as he spins her on the dance floor.

His eyes light up and his smile is broad as he watches her enjoy this moment as much as he does. The years of shared dances, both at the Firm's seasonal parties, as well as those during the late nights in his office, allowing them to move with practiced synchronicity. A harmonious and rhythmic sway of bodies very much like their easy and teasing rapport that has characterized them through the years.

The music then slows down and he brings her closer against him. His left hand clasping hers in his, fingers intertwining, blending as one. His right one splaying over her lower back, his thumb easily caressing the nude portion displayed by that intricate pattern of cloth she'd decided to wear tonight. He can feel the heat that comes off of her in waves and seems to seep into his soul. Her essence assaulting his senses and enveloping him in that shroud of enchantment he longs to get lost in again.

He sighs in contentment as he leans his cheek against hers. The smooth and velvety notes of John Coltrane's soulful sax, permeating into their skin all the way into their blood. Their bodies barely swaying, too entranced by this moment and the sensory overload of their touch. Like a blissful escape of sorts, they allow themselves to feel what they've denied for so long. And like the title of the song claims, it's easy to remember, for their caresses naturally stir all those dormant emotions, and that comfortable familiarity that only arises between former lovers.

He relishes on her touch and finds himself relaxed and at ease.

She always does that for him.

She calms his nerves and eradicates his fears.

With her easy and beautiful smile.

Her soft touch... alluring.

The feel of all that is Donna surrounding, consuming him, cleansing his mind, filling his heart with hope.

Like magic...

And holding her this close in his arms, enveloped in her beguiling femeninity, he finally realizes that he only feels whole whenever she's near...


	9. Chapter 9- Out of reach

_Feeling a bit nostalgic tonight... I hope you enjoy these really short set of updates. XX- Bellesrad_

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The keys feel cool in his hands and he can't help keep staring at them.

Like a symbol of defeat, the glint of metal strikes his watery brown eyes.

What is this feeling he has in his chest?

It's something akin to pain, maybe worse… Some sort of sense of abandon combined with a dash of hopelessness. As though his spirit had detached from his body while glaring at him, making him feel like a traitor…And then it was gone. Lost along the rhythmic sway of her hips. Tangled around long, toned legs as she made her way out of his office just five minutes ago.

He closes his fist around them, feeling their raw edges cut through the palm of his hand. Punishing himself.

His eyelids close and he can still see the nervous flutter of her long eyelashes,

that shaky but sweet smile adorning her lips.

And her eyes…

Honest hazel eyes staring into his brown, misting over for a second...

Her voice low, almost husky, thick with emotion, as she claimed to be happy for him.

If she was happy for him, why then did she seem so defeated? So let down?

He had come clean...

He had been honest with her...

If he'd done right by her, then why did it feel like a hole had been pierced right through his heart?

He gasps, his lungs finding it hard to extract the oxygen in the air around him.

Throat as dry as sandpaper.

Opening his eyes he turns his head and stares at the wall that separates their existence.

He should feel content.

A broken sigh leaves his lips.

He should be at peace.

Then, why does it feel like he's lost his best friend?

His heart winces in his chest.

Like he's lost the most important person in his life...


	10. Chapter 10- Regrets

Calling Mike had been a fruitless quest. His young friend was probably engaged in a late Friday night date with Rachel, and he knew that Mike always reserved that time to keep the sanity in their relationship. Harvey smiled before taking another sip from his tumbler. His chest filling up with pride to know that the young couple were very successful in Seattle both professionally and personally. The move proving that it was exactly what they needed.

As happy as he feels for them, Harvey can't help but feel a pang in his chest. The normalcy of their marriage and the contentment they felt often made him wonder if he'd ever experience that, too. And for some reason, whenever he thought about the possibility of a future, the image of a certain tall, slender redhead always danced before his eyes. And a bittersweet smile drew on his lips. These thoughts seemed tainted now, somehow. For he had to admit to himself that watching Donna leave with Thomas the other night really shook him to his core.

Settling the empty tumbler down on the glass table he passes both hands over his face. He should've seen it coming but he didn't. She'd been acting strange lately. Getting in late during the morning more than once when he knew for a fact that she has always been an early riser. Then there were the times he'd caught her smiling as she looked at her phone when she thought no one was watching. Yet, he had chosen not to see the signs. He had deliberately chosen to ignore them.

He refills the tumbler and walks out to the deck. The chilly night air numbs his brain and he stares at the city lights spread before him. He takes as sip of the stiff drink hoping it will help settle him. But it only seems to burn down his throat and unsettle his stomach. He's going down and it almost feels like his heart is crumbling like the sand castles he used to build as a child. The waves crashing into them, swallowing them in a single sweep.

She failed to let him in this new truth in her life.

Why? They've always been honest with each other. Hard truths and all, their motto. Except when he couldn't tell her about dating his former therapist. He winces at the thought and his heart fills with regret every time he thinks about that low point in his life. Was Thomas to her what Paula was to him? A chance to move on, to live a life away from the firm? An escape?

From what? From _him_? From _them_?

Was there ever even a chance for him and Donna to become a _them_?

He loosens his tie and takes it off in a single motion. Anger bubbling within him. His jaw tightening and his eyes hardening as he recalls all the missed opportunities. What had stopped him? Uncertainty? Fear? Why? Harvey Reginald Specter has no fear… except when it comes to opening his heart to the one woman he loves.

For he loves Donna Paulsen. He acknowledges it.

_Love me how?_

He swallows another bitter sip of his drink.

How does he love her, though?

He closes his eyes and fists the tie that is now in his hand.

_With all my being… with all my life…_

And the mighty Harvey Specter kicks himself for his inability to tell her so back then.

For his inability to tell her so even now…

And he continues to drink through the night as he tries to forget silky red strands that will never have the chance to luxuriously spread out over his pillow case. The amber malt unable to obliterate memories of endless curves and delicate porcelain skin. Of mischievous freckles laughing at him for being a fool. Lively and intelligent hazel eyes looking at him as he slowly drifts into slumber. And he vividly recalls the way she would always trace his jaw with a delicate finger and mumble words of passion as he sunk into her. He can still taste her on his lips and he feels a sad tear or two trickle down his cheek before passing out, fully dressed, yet again on his bed.


	11. Chapter 11- Without Her

_AN: Happy New Year's to you all dear friends! Here's a little something to celebrate the new decade. Set to those early days when Donna was dating Thomas and well, this one holds a little more story than just Harvey's musings. __A bit angsty but I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think, I really appreciate your feedback. - XX Bellesrad_

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Donna Paulsen is a mystery. He comes to that conclusion as he takes a sip of his Macallan 18. Even though he's known her for almost over twelve years, knows her quirks, her likes, the meaning behind each twist of her mouth and rise of her sculpted eyebrows. Of every single meandering curve of her body, and each attractive freckle splashed on her porcelain skin, of the more than a thousand ways her lips could taste… Yet, she's still a mystery of sorts.

He watches as she easily laughs at one of Alex's jokes and the way her pleasant hazel gaze rests on Katrina as the young blonde excitedly talks about some ballet performance. He looks around and catches Louis and Samantha huddled looking at a phone. The Managing partner probably showing a picture of the nursery he and Sheila are proudly setting up for their soon to arrive firstborn. It's a pleasant Friday night after a big win and they're all sharing a moment of good company in his office.

His gaze falls back to luscious red locks that slide over her face as she laughs, and intelligent, bright eyes that lock on him for a minute accompanied by a quick flicker of eyelashes. He raises an eyebrow at her and she smiles at him knowingly. Excusing herself she makes her way to the corner of his office where he's standing and he reaches for the glass decanter ready to refill her tumbler.

"Hey," she mouths and extends the glass so he can pour some more amber liquid in it.

"Hey," he quietly replies and smiles back at her.

Hazel inquisitive eyes settle on his face as he proceeds with the decanter so he asks, "what is it?"

"There's something different about you today…" she says and her eyes narrow as she examines him closely.

"It's the same old me, Donna… Harvey Specter, the best closer this city has ever seen."

She shakes her head no and reaches out for his tie, her delicate fingers wrapping around the knot and adjusting it slightly. Then, with ease and practiced familiarity, her hand gently slides down the length of the soft and expensive silky material. Her eyes momentarily focused on his lips as she does this but then feeling caught, they shift to look into his eyes and she gives him a shy smile. He's standing there waiting for her to say something when Alex interrupts the moment. Taking a quick step back, her hands both holding her Scotch, Donna turns and smiles at the name partner.

"Rosalie called. I'm leaving for the night. Thanks for the celebratory drink, Harvey," he says then looks at the redhead, "Donna."

Katrina and Louis soon follow claiming they want to take one last look at a document in the managing partner's office. Leaving only Samantha, who's looking at them with a knowing smile.

"I guess I'll also call it a night," she says and looks from Harvey to Donna, her eyes glimmering with mischief, "No point in being a third wheel."

Harvey rolls his eyes at her and Donna shakes her head in faux annoyance but the blonde only laughs with broad hilarity on her way out.

"You guys can thank me later…" her voice rings out as she walks down the hallway away from Harvey's office.

"Sorry about that… I think she forgets that you're involved with someone," Harvey apologetically says as he brings the tumbler to his mouth and drinks from it.

Donna's eyes flicker with something he can't recognize but soon recovers and places her own tumbler on his desk.

"You know what? It's not a proper celebration if we don't play one of your Dad's records," she says and selects his favorite. Taking the vinyl out of its sleeve, she offers him a smile, eyelashes low, hiding her hazel gaze from him in that flirtatious way so characteristic of her. This woman truly has his heart in her palm and he can't stop smiling at her.

She sets the record on the turntable and the jazzy melody soon fills the room. Turning around to face him she extends her hand and his Cheshire smile is all she needs in order to feel her heart swell with pure joy.

"What do you say, Specter?" she asks but he's already enclosing his much larger hand around hers.

"Don't mind if I do, Paulsen," he responds as he brings her closer against him.

She releases a sigh of pure bliss, she leans her head against his shoulder and inhales his scent. Clean, elegant, masculine and so him… she also recognizes the traces of the cologne he uses, which is one she's been buying for him over the years.

He easily guides her movements to the suave rhythm and smooth notes. She can't help but smile as he effortlessly twirls her and at the perfect point in the musicality, elegantly dips her and brings her back against him. They've done this so many times that it comes second nature to them. Their synchronicity is as elegant and in harmony as the sweet melody enveloping them.

Closing his eyes he breathes in her exquisite scent, so refined and polished as the woman herself, and for a second there he forgets that she's not his to claim. Yet, how can it be that it feels like she belongs here... here, in his arms, when she's obviously already spoken for?

A buzzing sound interrupts his musings and feels as she jerks her head from that resting place on his shoulder. Looking at her phone on his desk, they both notice the name that appears on the screen.

As though being brought back to a stark reality, she slowly extricates herself from his arms and gives him an apologetic look and smile. A soft _sorry_ escapes her lips and he releases both his hands from her waist as her hands reluctantly slip down his arms.

"It's ok," Harvey whispers as he pulls back trying to hide the pain in his eyes, and fails to notice the flicker of anguish in hers.

She collects her phone and sends a quick message rather than answer the call. Then looking back up at him she abjectly says, "I'm sorry. I have to go, Harvey…"

He doesn't look at her but nods in acknowledgement, and his heart sinks when he feels her hand squeeze his forearm in a quiet form of good-bye.

Harvey turns around to watch her form disappear down the hallway. The sound of her heels fading away with each step she takes. And he closes his eyes and releases a deep, painful sigh.

Donna Paulsen is a mystery. Beauty and grace combined. Wit and intelligence reside in both her eyes and lips. And he knows that with her empathy and candor, she's been able to instruct him in just about every aspect of his life. She's shown him how to see beyond the obvious and view the world through her eyes. Taught him how to forgive others, and also himself in the process. Proved to him that heart and soul are the higher emotions thus allowing him to discover his sense of love and direction through life.

Through all these years she's trained him to replace words and use that unspoken language of theirs. And his heart had gone through life blindly, bleeding until it had found its haven in hers; a resting and peaceful spot to heal and grow in her loving and nurturing nature.

She's woven into him...

Deeply threaded in his heart...

Profoundly intertwined in his life…

In his soul.

Yet there's one thing Donna Paulsen never did teach him...

How to survive without her.

How to survive without her love.

And as he looks out through the large windows, the city lights flickering before him in the darkness of this Friday night, he realizes that he can't imagine his life, his history, his future without her by his side...


	12. Chapter 12- Forever

_Sorry I've been away but work and personal stuff has kept me from writing (and reading). I hope you forgive the shortness of this update but I'm slowly bringing myself back to writing a little here and there. It's not much but I hope you enjoy it and recognize which paramount Darvey moment I'm describing here (insert winking emoji). Sending all my love to each one of you- Bellesrad_

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Soft smile lighting up her face

Playful twinkle in her eyes as they meet his

A quiet blush gently coloring her cheeks while she allows him to guide her towards the dance floor.

His larger hand wrapped around her much more feminine one.

Delicate laughter escaping her lips as he takes her by surprise and spins her once or twice

Radiant, beautiful and enchanting

That's how she looks tonight.

He slows them both down and smoothly brings her against his chest

and she easily seeks shelter in him

She sighs in pleasant contentment and he feels her breath on his neck.

Soft touch of her fingers running up and down his back,

soothing and tender...

Alluring and feminine lips, her lips

Tender flesh sensually grazing that sensitive spot right below his ear.

Her quiet whisper, a melody that alters his senses...

"_I love you, Harvey"_

Lyrical words that send his whole being, his spirit, soaring

And then slamming back into his heart filling it with love

Their love

A perpetual flame burning between them

And he relishes on the delightful weight of her head on his shoulder,

her fingers intertwined in his very much like their souls.

His newly acquired golden band subtly caressing the fleshy part where her palm meets her fingers, exquisitely imprinting itself very much like his kisses did once that night so long ago...

While they get lost in the music that envelops them both,

He relishes in the sway of their bodies

The wide skirt of her dress sashaying to the rhythm as his fingers trace the elaborate embroidered white flowers that adorn it.

And he realizes that this has been their destiny all along.

His heart finally finding its rhythm the minute they met

His soul captured by her clear, melodic voice

Elegant vulnerability mixed with grace and charm

Sublime femininity...

Generous, confident and frustratingly smart

His match...

He breathes her in and smiles against her cheek;

her essence permeating his senses

A quiet yet solid reminder that she's finally his

as much as he is hers.

She's his home

Today and always...

Forever


End file.
